Stupid jobs

Hello! I want to help my girlfriend with her job by making a tedious process more automated. She's a nurse working with vulnerable populations in northern canada and has to do a very complicated and stupid process to see what doses of vaccine a child can receive. It is prone to error and very time consuming...and very straight forward! A robot should be doing it! Therefore, automation! I have the dosing schedule and the requirements for how it should work, I would love to work with a developer who can appreciate the difficulties a nurse faces and who wants to help some kids in difficult situations. If this is something you're interested in, please let me know!

Logo for my brand fashion ( t-shirts etc. ) -DR (abbreviation of my first and last name) -Topics = Crazy / Psycho / Freedom / Enjoy / According to the motto: BE CRAZY, BE STUPID, BE SILLY, BE WHATEVER... Because, LIVE IS TOO SHORT TO BE ANYTHING, BUT HAPPY. Need : AI, PDF, PNG

Hello Freelancers, We are looking for someone with the following; - FLUENT English skills, we don't want to have to sit there forever explaining everything. - Able to work with us long term - Someone who can provide us a good cost and not rip us off! I have attached a design document that goes on everyt...document that goes on everything in there, it even has a reference site we strongly recommend that you look at this website as it has EVERYTHING that we do require. If you have read all this then please put this word "RLSUPER" at the top of your proposal, we will not reply to anyone who does not as we know you have not read the secret word. Our Budget $200 AUD Please do not give us ridiculous stupid quotes, the reference website in the document attached only cos...

Jackpot Ticker Introducción No dediques más de 2 horas a esto. Si no completa el desafío en el tiempo asignado, no será penalizado. Pero anote la pasos posteriores que habría codificado con más tiempo. Asegúrate de usar React y Redux. KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid Coloque su código en un repositorio de acceso público y proporciónenos la URL Envíe el historial de confirmaciones, para que podamos ver cómo abordó lógicamente el problema Incluya pasos sobre cómo ejecutar el código. Puede suponer que tenemos instalada la versión LTS más reciente de node, npm y/o yarn. Problema Necesitamos crear un nuevo componente de marcador de jackpot. Este componente mostrar&a...

Very small start up business. I have a website on web.com. with a store and ssl certification. I am limited by law to pickup or delivery only. I cannot get this stupid thing to work right. Need someone who can either set it up or help me set it up.

I want a website to learn the ins and outs of how to run a personal website. I need it to be as easy to manage as possible myself being a complete novice. If it would be at all possible, maybe you could coach me on how to navigate my way around the running of the site. The site is in the health niche, respiratory to be more specific...I'm more into the site being text-heavy rather ...then I want to be able to put some up. The site I'm envisioning will have a landing, about, blog, and contact page....basic as can be. If there's someone out there that can help me ....please contact me. ps . I have spent a considerable amount of time trying to do this on my own ... I have been on Wix and Wordpress but try as I might.... well that's why I'm here I just get frustrated ...

... no distortion, background noise, pink/white noise or interference(such as RF/EF). Samples should be recorded in a tone of excitement to fire up an audience for concert and/or invoke applause. Samples can be either WAV or high quality .mp3. WAV is preferred but really just need usable samples. Band Names are as follows.(Note only add “band” when written in name) The Derrick Newton Band The Stupid Cool and Kiss My Brass Horns The Space Donkeys The Salem Rats ...

Something is wrong, probably with Google Captcha and I keep getting this stupid error everytime I try to login. It finally logs me in after a couple of reboots of server (!!) or 5-10 failed attempts. Anyone knows and can help?

We are looking for a long-term partner to record videos in HD that will be used as tutorial videos for things such as topics such as software installation on windows and Linux (server access will be provided when needed) Please quote on 5-minute videos, some will be much shorter but the maximum will be 5 minutes on average This is a long-term partnership, so no stupid prices, only submit bids you will keep. Do not submit low bids then waste my time talking and have a sudden price increase

Canva Work, If you are lazy or stupid, don't apply to this job.. Thanks :)

This project is to offer a way for anyone to track their accomplishments and things that were significant to them that they don't want to forget about or to log what happened and how they felt towards something that happened in their life. I am looking for the best effort ...positive words I want on the back of my cover. The words can be: preparation, abundance, goals, accomplished, love, forgiveness, success, connect, bold, courage, memories, bliss, emotion, grateful, excited, action, attraction, consistent, positivity, increase. Please check your spelling. This should be a hardcover 8.5x11 size Black and red "The Amore Code" logo find attached. No question is a stupid or unnecessary one, please ask away here! Thank you for considering this contest and may be th...

Hello if you're reading this, pls give me some work or suggest something. I badly need some cash. Pls help. I know I'm being stupid for posting this as a project tho it's not. But pls if you can help me pls comment.

DO NOT APPLY IF YOU ARE NOT A SEASONED EXPERT IN FACEBOOK ADS. SERIOUSLY, CONVERSION EXPERTS ONLY. Read this carefully, I expect answers not questions. People asking stupid questions will be blocked. Overview: Online academy with online course on body language currently marketing on facebook/instagram. Course is $200. Objective: Convert the Reach to paying clients. We paid $49 on day 1, got a reach of 45,000. 1700 clicks. and Zero conversions. If you can fix this, you're hired.

Looking for creative artist to come up with a character that embraces the name, iSNORK The iSnork is a cartoon like fictional character that is funny and lovable. Here's some ideas on what I envision: 1. Maybe start with the...lovable character, but have an attitude. 4. The Graphics will be full color The deliverables will be: 1. Original native format fully colored characters in 6 different poses. a. A smiling isnork, full body with a smile b. The same as above, but a smirk on the face c. The same as above, but a frown d. The same as above, but with an angry face. e. The same as above, but looking stupid or embarrassed. f. The same as above, but looking in love with hearts around him. To help me pick an artist, I'd like to get "A" ...

If you bided with less than 7 days or stupid low amount.. consider you are deleted. I have to build car marketplace for car buyers in USA to see all cars (make/ model/ year/ condition/ color and all) and main aspects of this car marketplace will be: 1) Ability to push/ import cars in catalog/ listing by a dealer/seller (it could be mass update) 2) Ability to show Car Catalog (all cars) with ability to filter to your choice of a car 3) Provide value to a car buyer once he selects a car. See below. This is most important and differentiator from others. Why our website? our Marketplace? Naturally we want to give value to car buyers. VIN Decoder, III party API usage to add values will be huge thing for example. See , , , and others. If I am a car

I need a developer with rege...registered domain names on the internet and save them to MongoDB. There are probably more than 2 billion domains on the internet, so the database schema design should be done in such a way that will not consume too much space. Please note that no APIs will allow you to get more than 2 bill ion do main names for free or without limitations, so using APIs or any sort of third-party tools will be a very stupid idea for the task. === My thought is that we could try something like this: 1. a-z with/without 0-9 with/without -_.; 2. + TLD i.e .com, etc,; 3. then crawl the web to see if there's any mention; 4. if there is, we save the domain to the db; Just my design thinking though :) === What's your budget & deadline and how many domains...

I need a developer with regex and...n ames on the inte rnet and save them to Mongo DB. There are probably more than 2 b illion do mains on the inte rnet, so the databa se sche ma d esign should be done in such a way that will not consume too much sp ace. Please note that no APIs will allow you to get more than 2 bill ion do main na mes for free or without limitations, so using APIs or any sort of third-party tools will be a very stupid idea for the task. === My thought is that we could try something like this: 1. a-z with/without 0-9 with/without -_.; 2. + TLD i.e .com, etc,; 3. then crawl the web to see if there's any mention; 4. if there is, we save the domain to the db; Just my design thinking though :) === What's your budget & deadline and how many dom ains ...

1. Turn CSV column names into reusable shortcodes that can be used anywhere on my WordPress Site i.e. page / post title, description, etc; 2. Turn form fields into reusable shortcodes that can be used as a calculator that'll be shown on the form redire...that'll be shown on the form redirect URL - I have the old script, but I want to be able to format the form in Elementor; 3. Build a script that will randomly guess almost all the "2 billion" registered domain names on the internet and save them to a MongoDB - Please note that no APIs will allow you to get more than 2 billion domain names for free or without limitations, so using APIs is a very stupid idea for the task; HERE'S THE DEMO VIDEO: What's your budget and delivery date?

1. Turn CSV column names into reusable shortcodes that can be used anywhere on my WordPress Site i.e. page / post title, description, etc; 2. Turn form fields into reusable shortcodes that can be used as a calculator that'll be shown on the form redire...that'll be shown on the form redirect URL - I have the old script, but I want to be able to format the form in Elementor; 3. Build a script that will randomly guess almost all the "2 billion" registered domain names on the internet and save them to a MongoDB - Please note that no APIs will allow you to get more than 2 billion domain names for free or without limitations, so using APIs is a very stupid idea for the task; HERE'S THE DEMO VIDEO: What's your budget and delivery date?

1. Turn CSV column names into reusable shortcodes that can be used anywhere on my WordPress Site i.e. page / post title, description, etc; 2. Turn form fields into reusable shortcodes that can be used as a calculator that'll be shown on the form redire...that'll be shown on the form redirect URL - I have the old script, but I want to be able to format the form in Elementor; 3. Build a script that will randomly guess almost all the "2 billion" registered domain names on the internet and save them to a MongoDB - Please note that no APIs will allow you to get more than 2 billion domain names for free or without limitations, so using APIs is a very stupid idea for the task; HERE'S THE DEMO VIDEO: What's your budget and delivery date?

Hello, I need the values ​​of the boundary lines from an already existing code. I'm just too stupid for that. I do some programming myself for home use, but I can't do it. Should really only be 2-3 lines of code.

I need six SIMPLE cartoon pics. They can be any size. These are for children age 6-9. They should be colored. There is a chance of a lot more work. I need them to fit the following poem. See the numbers for the pics. You humans are so stupid, the cat said. You think you own us cats. But we own you. We train you to feed us, pet us, and play with us. Even take out our precious poop. She batted her eyes. [need cartoon pics for -- MUST be age-appropriate] you make our poop into soup? 2. Proudly display it on the stoop? 3. Carry it in your purse? 4. Bury it with a curse? 5. Ferry it to a nurse? 6. Marry it for better or worse? You do not need to submit six pics. One will do. The poem will be going into a website that is very likely to be viewed internationally. I will in...

I would like two logos please for a new business called Leasehold Legal Services or known as "LLS" LOGO DESIGNS: (1) Full / Rectangular Logo (2) Square Logo I have included a mockup of roughly how they should look. COLOUR SCHEMES: Please generate both them in the following colours schemes - Colour on White - Colour on Transparent - W...the following in png format for web use Rectangle - 500 x 182px Rectangle - 1000 x 364px Rectangle - 500 x 182px Rectangle - 100 x 36px Square - 500 x 500px Square - 1000 x 1000px FAVICON Please also produce a Favicon (16 px by 16px) of the shield only (i.e. no text). This should be in colour with a transparent background. HAVE I ASKED FOR SOMETHING STUPID? I have tried to be clear on my brief, but if I have asked for something ...

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Looking fo...consolidate retention ⁃ Maintain flow of dialogue, cut out any unnecessary fillers (ummm, uhh etc) ⁃ Save main bulk of action to at least halfway through video ⁃ Cut clips extremely close to each other (so there’s no pause between dialogue in between cuts) ⁃ Please don’t be afraid to make fun of me with zooms and memes every time I make a funny face or say something stupid (7:51 in first video) I like to keep my videos as organic & relatable as possible ⁃ NO need for extra animation, texts (other than sponsor titles or anything I’m promoting) should be in simple white borderless Helvetica font (no effort) eg “lol wtf did I just say” “lol wtf” ⁃ NO fancy transitions ⁃ NO colo...

Hello, I have a pinescript code, but it doesn't enable alarms. I would like to have this added to the script. The alarm should trigger when a new Pivot UP or a new Pivot LOW is drawn on the plot. Please see the pictures for this. Im too stupid to program it.

High Amit, +25years sounds as you will know how a keyboard is working :) i hope you like to help me by my server problem. its an ubuntu 22.04 gnome x11 with nvidia a4000 as basic... i have some tiny problems around, and one main problem. main problem is: i can say in the engine run compile as .sh file and it works. i am to stupid to find a way to say run on WWW as normal.. of course i have NO CLUE about linux and also less clue about the engine. all documents online are outdated..:(

Hi Waqas nice to find you in this dark and wild digi jungle :) it looks as you know about what i not know ... ok our deadline was today, but sure we can not go "dead", so we must fix it anyway. its an ubuntu 22.04 gnome x11 with ue5.0.2. i can project compile and run locale. that's not bad :) but i am to stupid to find settings config bugfix for the turn/stun streaming on "www".. can you look at it and fix the server for me ? regards.. buschi

We have an Aussie business in Adelaide SA, selling Filipino groceries, including frozen goods. and also selling Aussie local Deli stuff. We have been selling all over Adelaide and an occasional shipment via Aust Post to Regional SA and once even to Northern WA. We would like to be able to reach more Filipino customers and do shipments to them, or to make orders for pick up. I want for them to be able to arrange for various payment methods or ask to pay od delivery/pickup. We need help to set up the page to be shown how to load products on/off....to be able to integrate a payment system and to integrate with our FB page. Hoping someone can help. (Removed by Freelancer.com admin)

I need to set up Google Adsense on my food blog as well as set up my Mail Chimp email service that comes with my WP theme. I have tried to do it myself and both projects just send me down a million stupid rabbit holes that get me nowhere. I need help setting both projects up in a way that allows me to operate them going forward. My food blog is ibskitchn.com.

According to the ever insightful Urban Dictionary, copywriting is “the stupid shit that gets in your way while trying to watch porn”. You know all of those ‘random’ ads you keep getting? The ones that seem to speak to your deepest darkest desires and fears? Well they’re not so random. C’mon you know what you’ve been searching… …And so do we, because we create them! Yeah, that’s right. We’ve been studying you. We’ve been targeting you. We know EVERYTHING about you. Well Zuckerberg, Larry, Sergey and their team from Facebook and Google are doing most of it but you get the point. In short, “This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here”. If you: Are someone who believes that the ex...

drives me nuts this stupid shiiiit. do it by teamviewer for i can repeat this crap

Short description: Design and implement a networked multiplayer Uno game with a computer player (NPC) also joining the game. Mark rubric: UI elements ...extending this concept into a fully fledged practical will be wise and economical. Some comments on mark sheet entries follow. UI elements: all the graphical stuff in the game. Networking: Everything that makes multiplayer over the network possible, like data serialization, state synchronization, player / turn co-ordination, etc. NPC: The computer player can vary from absent through moderately stupid up to excellent, therefore, the marks have a range. Player rankings: Implement some persistent form of a hall of fame. Awesomeness: Anything extra you added to the game that makes your version unique and fun can get some recogni...

.... I WANT A COOL RADIO STATION...BEING A "TALK RADIO" BY CALLING TO PEOPLE.. ON THEIR MOBILE-PHONE OR AT HOME... JUST TERRORIZING THEM BY SEVERAL CONCEPTS... LIVE! I OWN A RADIO STAITON.... I HAVE A CRAZY. PROJECT... I WANT ONE NEW RADIO-STATION BEING EVERY DAY HAVING AN INTERACTIVE PHONE-TERROR SHOW... WHICH IS AUTOMATICALLY CALLING PEOPLE... ON THEIR HOMEPHONE OR MOBILE PHONE... AND PLAY STUPID JOKES WITH THEM... LIKE ASK THEM SILLY QUESTIONS... AND EVEN PUT THAT LIVE ON AIR.... AS RADIO-BROADCASTER... OR JUST HAVE A WEBPAGE... WHERE LISTENERS CAN PROVIDE A NAME... AND 2 TELEPHONE NUMBERS OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW EACH OTHER... THEN WE CALL THE 2 TELEPHONE NUMBERS AT THE SAME TIME... AND WHEN EACH OF THEM PICKS UP... THE OTHER THINKS... THAT HER FRIEND HAD CALLED... OR ...

...marketer, and I am currently working on 3 crypto projects. I am seeking for a professional VA who wil help me with the standard VA tasks. Tasks: 1. Scheduling 2. Email handling 3. Chatting with leads in Telegram, etc. Requirements: 1. Positive attitude to life (I know how this sounds, but it's the most important factor. What does this mean: Example 1: A customer writes to you "Hey, you, stupid person, what is this crypto? You suck!", and your response "Block him...". Example 2: A customer writes to you "Hey, I want to create a video about you, Lets talk how we can work together???", and your response is "Ok, great, let's talk, great person!!! I am such a positive person!!! This project is great. Here's how we can collab......

...ultimate Roblox experience that concentrates on his lifelong obsession for traffic and road signs and thus creating a game allowing him the ability to design, construct and ultimately interact with Australian road signs using an uncomplicated and user-friendly design that is accessible on iOS, android, and Xbox Roblox devices if possible. My Roblox Studio knowledge and abilities place me into the 'STUPID DAD' level of expertise unfortunately so please ignore any dumb or uneducated comments I make in this proposal as required. My thought process for the game I envision is for a 'City template' style of game consisting essentially of freeways, highways, city streets, residential streets and car parks, with actual buildings not a necessity, ( but the inclusi...

Design for print this saying "Stupid Smart" just these two words in cute designs.

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We are looking to to appear on Google the the following phrases google ads suspended google ads suspended appeal google ads suspicious payment how to fix circumventing systems policy google ads suspended google ads account suspended circumventing systems policy google ads We are not looking for fake links or stupid blog sites, so explain how you are going to get us #1. Examples please of keywords and websites are needed

I need a web developer to fix an incomplete website; the freelancer is not completing it after taking his money 1- You must be available to start IMMEDIATELY 2- You must be respectful and not treat me like I am stupid 3- You must NOT ask me "What is your budget"; you are the expert and it is only you who knows the amount of work required 4- I deposit the entire project amount into escrow, but I release it ONLY AFTER project completion

Need a already existing .STL file converting so a .STP file. It wont take long so not looking to pay stupid prices Thank you

It is very important to read well before applying for the job, please do not waste our time, do not ask stupid questions like explaining the job because it will be explained well we have a food ordering platform that currently works very well with stripe but we want to add Worldpay because now we add the self-service kiosk platform for restaurants and point of sale and we want to use Worldpay for dataphone terminals for points of sale and the kiosk the developer has to be an expert in the payment gateway of Worldpay node js to make the API for the flutter developer and to be able to integrate Worldpay to the kiosk and to the attached point of sale we will send a video of what we want the kiosk is already done and the point of sale for restaurants we need the integration to the loc...

I want a thin line outline drawing of my stupid cat. NOT lifelike. Tattoo line style. Two actually. One as he is. One with the “thug life” meme glasses added to him. You know tattoos? Do it! Like the photo minus the dumb flowers. I also want to do a full instagram story of this process so I would love for you to shoot your process so we can mutually promote ourselves on that stupid monster that is social media.

PLEASE READ FIRST LIST OF REQUIREMENTS - DO NOT BID UNLESS YOU AGREE TO EACH TERM 1. DO NOT BID than change the amount, the brief is perfectly detailed 2. DO NOT BID unless you are an expert in woocommerce 3. DO NOT BID if you need to ask a question, if you don't understand the brief you are not an expert 4. DO NOT BID Then ask to ...expert and know exactly how woocommerce works, so please only bid based on time as this is a manual process All floor plans for each apartment is already uploaded, and an obvious pattern is there. 2 demo products will be fully setup for you to use as reference, and a guide video showing the process, again this is not complex but time consuming. BID realistically, i'm not an idiot and don't need stupid bids, this is more of a time proj...

Hi I need a designer for ongoing basis to design images for Amazon listings. I will need around 10 sets of images doing per month as a minimum, each set will contain 7-8 images These are: Image1 - product image (plain white background) Image 2 - Dimensions and some features Image 3 - Main features Image 4-6 - Social proof, i.e. product being used (thi...some features Image 3 - Main features Image 4-6 - Social proof, i.e. product being used (this is where your skills will show) Image 7 - Instructions on how to use Image 8 - comparison against some competitor products I need high quality images.. will only consider people with previous experience and established portfolio. Please quote rate based on each set of images.. Please don't give me a stupid rate as I know what the g...

hello I have an stupid old custom indicator but I would like to program it in the new MQL4 language I've been in trading for 10 years so if it's to give me an exorbitant price, please GO AWAY, I have no time to waste Thanks

I want you to write 1x long blog post in perfect US English. Requirements: - Unique, no copy and paste or stupid rewriting - Highly engaging and conversational tone - Filled with tons of helpful graphs and images - Super actionable content to help the reader learn HOW to realize a specific result - Fast turnaround of 10 days - Well researched - Optimizing the content with SEOsurfer I will provide some source articles and outline as well as keywords that should be included, so you have enough direction. Cheers

I want you to write 1x long blog post in perfect US English. Requirements: - Unique, no copy and paste or stupid rewriting - Highly engaging and conversational tone - Filled with tons of helpful graphs and images - Super actionable content to help the reader learn HOW to realize a specific result - Fast turnaround of 10 days - Well researched - Optimizing the content with SEOsurfer I will provide some source articles and outline as well as keywords that should be included, so you have enough direction. Cheers

It is very important to read well before applying for the job, please do not waste our time, do not ask stupid questions like explaining the job because it will be explained well we have a food ordering platform that currently works very well with stripe but we want to add worldpay because now we add the self service kiosk platform for restaurants and point of sale and we want to use worldpay for dataphone terminals for points of sale and the kiosk the developer has to be an expert in the payment gateway of worldpay node js to make the api for the flutter developer and to be able to integrate worldpay to the kiosk and to the attached point of sale we will send a video of what we want the kioso is already done and the point of sale for restaurants we need the integration to the l...

We have a 7 page website built in HTML, don't have any admin access, but need all pages and content to be transferred over to wordpress We already have a simple default theme, which uses WP bakery so needs to be built in this Website must match exactly as it does now Not interested in stupid high prices, this isn't complex and will take someone who know what they are doing a few hours