Hi.
I see nobody else who has bidded thus far has read your project description, so, I'd imagine I'm probably at a bit of an unfair advantage here. So here goes one that I'll just shoot off the cuff. The rest, if I get the job, will have more thought behind them.
Personalised boiled egg-holding breakfast board.
Solidly crafted from high quality bamboo and with dimensions more than adequate to hold a full English breakfast (20x25cm), this quirky but useful piece of kitchenware is guaranteed to brighten up your loved ones' day. With customisable message as an option, you're sure to make eggsactly the statement you intended to.
I just assumed the message was customisable and ran with that. Anyways, if you're interested in hiring me, and have any questions, I'd be more than happy to discuss details/send links to my previous work in chat.
Cheers,
Ben.