DMOZ GUARANTEED listing.

I need a GUARANTEED listing in DMOZ. 1)I dont need someone to list a site in dmoz for me that cannot GUARANTEE 100% approval. This means i dont want you to bid if you cannot GUARANTEE entry in DMOZ. 2)I need an editor to list my site in dmoz. 3)If I put the money in escrow for you, this means I will get a guaranteed listing on dmoz. 4)This means I will not get my money back as my website will be listed in DMOZ. Please dont waste my time and offer my money back if I'm not listed. Only bid if you can guarantee 100% entry in dmoz. If you cant do this, you'll receive negative feedback 100% guaranteed.