A friend in need is a friend indeed. :)
Hi,
I wanted to start with that because you seem really down and even at the cost of one bid, here's a joke to make you feel better:
Wife: "Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don't you do that?"
Husband: "How can I? I don't even know her."
I'm not saying pick me, but I know how lonely it can get to not be able to speak to somebody... I truly wish you find the right person who can be there for you.
Just never give up! You are the best! Cheer up! Smile!